Getting Stuck and Moving On

There are some days when I feel really stuck in life, and that it’s difficult to ever get back on my feet. Challenges and worries overpower hope and motivation. Trying so hard to return to my most productive state is a feat that is closer to impossible. This is me when negativity takes over…

However, I have faith that there’s a purpose for everything. My current situation will probably make sense in another day, week, or even a year. Those moments are the most surprising ones which freely gives off my unwavering smile. A satisfaction of getting through the storm and moving forward. How I wish I could see myself at that moment again. I am still waiting. Pinching, punching, forcing myself to continue moving forward. At times, I look back. Not for regret but for inspiration. Changes that happened throughout the years before I came to my current position. Those make me grateful for everything.

Now, I have to continue. Press every button and find the green one. Gently guide my fingers and toes. Small steps. Little by little.

Breaking Free of My Writing Paralysis

20150518_picI haven’t written much for weeks. July is almost done, but I’m still floating across the flight of my mind. This is the phase I consider as my writing paralysis. A state of writing depression when nothing seems to “inspire” me to pick up my pen and start writing. Maybe it’s the weather or my personal predicaments right now, or worst my laziness.

I hate the days when I feel too lazy to write. Instead of working on a poem or a story, I would simply grab a book to kill the time. Even though I have dozens of reminders (notes) about different storylines that I want to work on, I still procrastinate. Escaping the responsibility of writing, and simply hoping for other distractions/chores/excuses to come by. This habit got me paralyzed for so long, that I couldn’t even finish writing a two stanza poem. 😥

However, over the weekend, I was able to slowly go back on track with writing assignments and free writing in front the TV set. This new habit gradually made me grew familiar with the distractions around and work my way out of those.

For now, I am still writing Exploring Limbo. Luckily, I’m able to work until the second part of the collection. 😀

Then for the meantime, I’m continuously focusing my writing in my hub. There are multiple informative articles that I’ve done which helped in my steps to writing again. Hope these will be a good start to write more.

Wandering

Walking up and down the stairs
Fidgeting at some unknown pace
Only looking on the toes of my feet
Ideas bursting all over the place

No one wanted to do it, I insisted
Everyone knew it was a good plan
On the third step up, the fidgeting stops
Missing the step had be falling, breaking

My knees scrape the steps or is it the other way
The bone cracks without warning
My ideas scattered on the floor
Tears come down uninvited, I’m not sure why

I know it is not because of the pain
But partly because of it, I guess
Though it’s more of the thought I lost
The fall shouldn’t have happened

Now, I look at the red mark
I wipe the tears away
I need to go back to my spot
The best of my work is interrupted