Going Back to my Passion Part 1

Wala ka na bang ibang trabaho? (Don’t you have another job?)

That was a striking question that I received from my doctor last March 2019 when I went to have my check up because I had been having difficulties speaking. I thought then that it may just be a swollen throat as I had been speaking for hours on end due to my job. I really thought that I would only need a couple of days of medication and then I’d be fine. I wasn’t ready for that question of my doctor. It made me rethink of the various tasks I had at work. I love teaching, however, I had to ask myself if I should continue or not. This moment was definitely a heavy one for me as the first months of the year had me emotionally and mentally drained.

Roller-coaster of choices

Growing up, I had always thought of my mother’s work as interesting and fun. It was a job that seemed to have a lot of interesting activities as well as stories to tell every day. I truly enjoyed watching my mother prepare for her classes, not knowing how difficult that was. So, with that kind of background, I wanted to be a teacher as well.

However, as the years passed by, I met an aunt who graduated with a degree in accountancy. She lived with us for a couple of years, which had me thinking that I wanted to be like her. Then so during the latter years of my elementary, my dream profession changed.

A few more years and I entered high school where I had to be in the special science section. I had to learn various advance classes from mathematics, statistics, research, and the sciences. With that condition, I had to wake up at around 3:00 am, work on some last minute class homework, and prepare for my commute. I had to make sure that I arrive at school before 7:00 am and go home by 5:30 pm.

Yes, that schedule was my day-to-day routine, not including the travel time going to and coming from school plus the after hours group activities as well as weekend practices for other extracurricular ones. Where did I get my energy then? I think it was a wonderful decade of my childhood. ๐Ÿ˜€

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Laro Tayo

Ang mga batang nagtatakbuhan
Bitbit-bitbit ang pares ng tsinelas
Sa dalawang palad na nakabukas
Kasabay ng mga ngiting sagad-sagad
Mistulang walang problemang inaalala
Kundi ang matapik ang susunod
Magiging taya at magsisi-hagulgol
Sa nakatutuwang pagtilapon
Ng kaibigang natalisod

Mapupuno ang kalsada
Halakhak, patutsyada’t sigawan
Ng mga musmos na nag-uunahan
Upang matapos ang laro ng buong tapang
Lulubugan ng araw na puno ng pawis at dumi sa katawan
Pero ngiti pa rin ang kanilang ibabaon
Sa pagsalubong sa nakahandang hapunan

Sayang hindi na ito ang pumupuno
Sa kalsadang nilalakaran ng marami ngayon
Nawala ang mga batang nagrarambulan
Tanging sa alaala at panaginip na lang yata makikita
O kapag pinilit maglaro sa klase sa eskwelahan
Doon na lang matatanaw ang kinalakihang kasiyahan
Ngunit mga nakasimangot na mukha ang babati
Sa larong pinaghihirapang saglit na balikan
Sana kahit ngayon ay makatagpo
Magyayaya ng “Laro tayo!”

6 Movies I Wish Were Books

Many things have helped shaped the person I am now. When put inside my comfort zone, the walls would be made up of books from the children’s, young adult, and classic genres. Then there would probably be a few TV screens or computer monitors flashing the hundreds of movies I’ve seen growing up.

Others must probably cringe at that idea, thinking that it’s a bad example of a healthy lifestyle. But I did grow up healthy and strong after all those hours with my books and the tube. Even though I spent a lot of time in front of the television and with my books, I also had great childhood memories. Those were just a part of who I am. Aside from those, I also played with my friends and enjoyed the late afternoon games after school. It was just that my books and TV were where I was (and still am) most comfortable with. It was just a matter of balance.

With all those memories coming back to me every now and then, I also wished that I had printed copies of the movies I learned to love when I was younger. There is something magical with the text of those trustworthy paper which makes me feel and understand the stories more. The words could show me more of the characters and the setting. This is through my own way of forming the images in my mind. Sure, the movies are visually appealing and could even be more elegant than what words could describe, but the image I make, whenever I read the words, is mine to keep and mine to own. Before I get too sentimental, this list is, in fact, difficult to make. There are just many wonderful films I’ve seen which all became special parts of my being. I do not expect many would agree with my choice, but some might get disturbed to even imagine them as books. So, here they are:

1. Hellraiser (1987) and the whole franchise

Whoa, right? How could someone start a list with this?

Well, I do fancy some dark literature and sometimes it shows in my writing. People might be surprised to know that I can’t really stand pain or any gory scene. My automatic response would be to cover my eyes or cover my ears then close my eyes. But this movie series was very memorable. It was released six years before I was born, so how did I get to watch those films? This is where I should thank cable TV ๐Ÿ˜‰

I was in elementary then when I lazily sat on the living room and saw this strange looking scene from the HBO channel. To my extreme surprise, it was disturbing, but I got so hooked with the story. In one whole afternoon ’till early evening, I was watching the series. Yup, HBO got to show all in a single day (lucky me?)

It wasn’t the scenes or the scare that got me, but more of the story. Then who could entirely erase the memories of those cenobite faces: Female, Chatterer, Butterball, and Pinhead. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ Now, I can (at least) watch scary movies for as long as the story is good. If it is just pure gore or killing, nope, not for me. Then, if the series were made into books, I think I would definitely have sleepless nights.

2. Edward Scissorhands (1990)

Another movie made before I even existed on the planet. ๐Ÿ˜€

This was the precursor of my fascination and attraction with Tim Burton films and Johnny Depp. The weird lonely yet lovely feel of the whole story caught me. The sympathy and the characters’ unusual circumstances made me relate to the whole movie. There are times when people feel different, unwanted, or isolated. In this movie, I felt that I probably wasn’t alone and that there was still good fortune coming. Now, I understand that better.

*There are already books of this, but just inspired by the film and not the whole movie story.

3. Dead Poet Society (1989) and 4. Jack (1996)

Mostly because of Robin Williams. I grew up in a home where my family enjoys watching Robin Williams’s films. The characters he portrayed were absolutely adorable and inspiring. There was a time when I really searched for his movies whenever I was sad. Now that he can’t make any more films, I hope I have books of his movies and see better through all those characters and their personalities.

5. A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

Encouraged by my science teacher in Grade 3, I watched this film from a rented VCD. Aha, there were still movies rented then. It was like a library of movies for my young eyes.

This movie was brilliant. I got emotional watching this one. I never thought that my eight-year-old self would be that affected by a movie. Maybe this triggered how my feelings which I now couldn’t control much. I shed my share of tears whenever I watch movies that are really touching. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ With all the visual effects and actors there, I want to get a copy of a book then read, re-read the lines which made me feel weak yet very much alive.

6. The Ring (1998)

Another horror flick. This movie made an impact because I saw this with my cousins who weren’t really that “brave” after all. I never really continued that thing with horror films because the blood and gore of American films had me feeling hurt. This one opened my eyes to Japanese movies. The story was really wonderful, I thought. ๐Ÿ™‚

This really made me scared and how more if I could get a written copy. Maybe just by reading the words, I’ll be put to many sleepless days. My imagination really is a bit exaggerated when I read scary stories.



Big Fish (2003)

This made me cry many times and that doesn’t really make me feel embarrassed. As I mentioned earlier, I do like Tim Burton films. This one is another one of his works, however, this doesn’t have the dark shots that he usually uses. But the story itself is magnificent, magical, and memorable. This is a movie adaptation of a novel with the same title published in 1998.

Magic Temple (1996)

This is a Filipino movie that is both fictional and comedic. This movie wasn’t the best of the others made during its time, but I got to watch this on TV and I really enjoyed it. ๐Ÿ™‚

Jackie Chan films
This one I surely can’t get away with. I think my father watched almost all of Jackie Chan’s movies. It wasn’t a bad habit that I got. I enjoy watching his movies because of the action and the comedy. ๐Ÿ™‚
Then when he does some serious roles, it makes me reflect on the lessons behind the story.

Bookworm Experience: From Comics to Novels

Books weren’t really my personal companion growing up. I did enjoy some colorful illustrations from my fairy tale books or school readings. Pictures spoke more to me than words did. Maybe because I was still learning my letters, but still this was me until that “magical” moment came. A time that made my twice a month fascination with the local comic books.

By Felix_Nine (https://www.flickr.com/photos/gulliverarkham/)

By Felix_Nineย  I really can’t find the ones I read, but most of them are like this or…

Who would have thought that there were treasures hidden along the crowded piles of paper on the book stand just a few minutes away from home? No one else except my father. ๐Ÿ˜€

Unlike my parents who grew up with many Filipino comic books available around them, I had to search for my copies. It was difficult for an elementary student to do that then. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ It was in the late 1990s to early 2000 when I walked around the house and annoyed my father to get me one. When he brought home these komiks,ย I cheered up and found myself on the floor reading through the pages, excited! The characters introduced me to funny, intellectual dialogues, with some strange set-ups in between. Some supernatural scenarios and even superheroes that are closer to me because of the Philippine style added to them. The quirky faces came alive and made the stories more interesting though those moments were short-lived. Because the publication of localย komiksย was on the decline. Many children preferred getting stuck withย their TV sets on or read through the more expensive, foreign comic books.

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Books for an Old Soul

Personally, there is a different feeling whenever I flip through pages of books. The new and the old ones, I tend to be more attracted to the latter. The smell of old, thrift shop books are intoxicating, and yes it’s strange but I sniff through some of the pages. It’s just me ๐Ÿ˜‰

Every reader has his/her own style to pick. I think the uniqueness of the writers (and their stories) is also searching for the right, equally distinct reader. It’s like whenever you try to find that perfect spot to spend your night, that’s how you choose your book. Something to comfort or to accompany you through sleepless nights or sweet daydreams.

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Lucky Star


A lucky star for one night
Can brighten even the saddest child
Across the room at one corner there
A heart pounding, praying well

Though time flies by quickly
The dream made a fool of the innocent
Cruelty faced the lucky star
It’s a fake, cried the child

Wish and hope to a distant light
Won’t help an inch in my despair
Foolish thought shouldn’t linger long
I shall tell my own to grow fast as well

Do not believe a lucky star?
Stand and make your own path
Worries and dark corners collide
To someone playing at the light coming from the sky

Dreams, Failures, and Everything In Between

Isn’t it funny that day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different…” – C.S. Lewis

Being in my early twenties is difficult to imagine myself worrying much about the future. This stage in my life seems to be a carefree one. I guess, I never got to that level. Every day there’s more and more of the reflection that I have actually skipped some or jumped from being young to adulthood. There was no teenage life in between. It was a clear cut line from young to adult self. Many of life’s circumstances and challenges made me grow up a lot faster than my peers.

Now, it seems much clearer that it truly was a jump (or maybe the genes).

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DAY 7 Memories of My Forgotten Childhood

Dreams and plans are sweet things that add flavor to my days. However, too much dreaming made me feel sick. These thoughts that flood through my mind blinded me. There are times that I wish I could just erase all the memories and start fresh. But small patches of the memory still stuck on my head.

That’s when I decided to read more books and be close to characters from another world. These people live harmoniously and in power. They make me feel different emotions and make me thankful for another day. These I shall never forget.

DAY 6 Memories of My Forgotten Childhood

As I was growing up, the media became my source of knowledge. I got entertained and educated. The influence that I got was so strong that I was stuck with the stories and characters. There came a certain dependence that I felt towards these fictional places and people that I’ve met.

The preferences that I give towards stories are rooted to the meanings they portray. Many people find me strange because of this. While many of my peers enjoy the pleasure of pop culture and the now, I prefer going old-fashioned. A cup of tea on one hand and a good book on the other. I like Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Ray Bradbury. They like John Green and Neil Gaiman. I enjoy The Big Bang Theory, Community, and Criminal Minds. They like many romantic and fantasy stories. I don’t have a problem with that, but many of them have a problem with my choices. It made me feel out of place ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Those were the days. Now, I appreciate being different. I grew up. I am thankful that I was given the chance to be different and not following the flow, because I saw a unique side of myself. I have nothing against my peers, I just hope that they also feel the same way. We are all unique in our own right. If all is the same, life would be very boring.