Nakakalungkot na bagay na ang panitikan ay di gaya ng ibang aralin na nasusukat ang bisa sa tulong ng mga pagsubok at pagsusulit. Ang ating mga pagsubok at pagsusulit ay sumusukat lamang sa pagkakatanda sa mga kaalamang gaya nito: Sino ang may-akda ng ganoon? Ano ang pangalan ng pangunahing tauhan? Ilan ang anak ni Ganoo’t Ganito? Ano ang nangyari sa panganay? Sa bunso? Nguni’t walang pagsusulit na sumusukat sa nagiging bisa sa katauhan. At ano ang mga bisang ito? Marahil, lalo niyang nauunawaan ang kanyang sarili ngayon. Marahil, lalo siyang nalalapit sa katotohanan, sa kagandahan, sa liwanag.
– Genoveva Edroza-Matute (1956)
It is unfortunate that literature is not like other subjects the efficacy of which can be measured through experiments and tests. Our tests can only measure how well we remember facts like: Who wrote that? Who is the main character? How many children does So-and-so have? What happened to the eldest child? The youngest? But no test can measure the impact of literature on the person. And what are the effects of literature? Perhaps the student will become more considerate of other people. Perhaps she now understands herself more. Perhaps she brings herself closer to the truth, to beauty, and to the light. (translation directly quoted from Caroline Hau’s work on The Problem of Consciousness in the book Necessary Fictions, 2000)
Friends and acquaintances usually have an impression and/or expectation that when someone wants to be a writer or is already one, has a different sense of reality. That most of the conversation you’ll encounter with a writer would be reflective or deep. Maybe those people are just my friends and not others in general. Anyhow, writing is also considered by some as an old, dying trade, so finances might crumble on top of the writer’s lap.
When I don’t meet those expectations, the thought makes me feel that something is wrong with me. Why the hell did I choose to write?
Friends of friends might even be surprised and gasp that “Oh, you like to write. That’s great!”
but behind your back you’ll hear them whisper, “I can’t believe her. Poor girl.”
“A writer? She’s too ordinary!”
Continue reading “Reflections of My Somewhat Writer Self”
Children grow up so fast, but their memories linger for a lifetime. This process keeps a collection of the impressions and emotions that I have made throughout the colorful, unforgettable, and random days of my childhood.
I was given the chance to live and grow up in a generation when people are moving to a new millennium, but are still clinging to the nostalgic body of the previous decades. Lifestyles, generations, and ideas mixed up in my brain that made me the person I am now.
Poems serve as a sanctuary of my most kept experiences in the early days of my life. The transitions I had to endure to come where I am now are part of every words I write.
Continue reading “Daluyong”
Watching the sky turn its hues on, I imagine how wonderful the chances I have to find time at least to see this gift. People almost always spend their time being busy. They are checking their watches, updating their social media, walking, running. Everyone seeks no more than to find faster ways, busier tasks and success.
A couple of years ago, I thought that I’m not going to be one of those people; that I’ll find time. But now, I’m always wishing, praying for more time.
The faster I run, the faster time comes after me. The busier I get, the less time I appreciate.
Tick tock. Tick tock.
No break in between doesn’t make John a dull boy
No break in between makes John jump to a pit of fire
Anger, hatred, and pity sucks the life within
I have to go away to keep myself safe
Living for today is not enough
I have to live for the rest of my life
Holding back these emotions
Will rot the being I kept pure
I have to let go
Holding back the tears
This is the hardest part to keep
Sadness, fear, happiness, and anger
They all make me tear up
Others I cannot keep,
Others I consciously fight back.
Stretching my limits
Carrying me away from my being
This month I surely enjoyed the pleasure of buying these hard-to-find books. ^^
This serves as my early Christmas gift for myself . Unless, other wonderful books or some great planner come along later this month.
Most of these books I remember from my childhood. I mostly remember them through movies which I think I had seen in VHS (Video Home System) tapes. Most probably many younger people now are not even familiar with that system. Well, that was my memory before the rise of CDs, DVDs, and of course the torrent generation. 😉
It was worth finding these books and reminiscing the happy years. I cannot believe that my book collection is really starting to grow. I actually had other purchases from book sales last August and September. Well, this hobby is definitely a hard one to outgrow.