Leaving No Trace

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Is it even possible to leave without any trace?

Maybe it is the time to say goodbye
Soften the blow of an unexpected break
Lessen the touch, even a simple nod
Keep the smile but it may deeply scar the heart
Still, maybe with this, leaving is possible
Erase the moments slowly from the routine
Say what you mean, show what you wish
It is the time to finally say goodbye

So, soften the blow of this unexpected break
Lessen the touch, lessen the talk
Keep the smile, keep it close

Erasing the memories slowly
With the hours moving
Swaying
Flying
Away
It
Goes

It’s difficult to let go and move on…

…from my decade-old reading assignments and book collection.

Whenever I try to remember the stories and books that truly got me into my current fascination with the written works, I can’t help but smile and think of the numerous reading assignments I had to complete throughout my high school and university years. There were times I couldn’t even remember the exact date or homework for a particular text, but the story and the characters were all still so familiar to me.

Science and Learning

I didn’t grow up in a family of readers. Television shows, movies, radio series, and only a couple of Komiks kept me pre-occupied during my tender years. I tried to excel academically during my elementary days, and I was only exposed to different textbooks, encyclopedia resources, and the dictionary (synonyms, antonyms, thesaurus, and others).

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Red Rose (2011*)

A: When was the last time you saw me smile?

T: When was the last time you heard me sing?

A:  When was the last time you held my hand?

T: When was the last time you felt I’m alive?

T: I walked in the garden full of roses. It was the most beautiful thing anyone could ever imagine. Red filled the whole place.

A: I saw her walked in my rose garden and she was the most radiant rose I have ever seen.

T: I was wearing my favorite white dress and I felt like an angel standing in the center of heaven.

A: She filled the land with light and everything started to fade away. I was sitting and hiding behind the bushes, waiting for my angel to come. And she did!

T: I hopped along the brick fountain found at the center of the garden. There were two ladies partly covered with cloth, standing in the middle of the fountain, pouring water from their basin.  Then I glanced forward to see my reflection.

A: I started to walk near my angel. Then she started to go near the water! She moved her body and leaned to see over the well. It was my well of hell! She can’t be near the well! She might fall and she might be eaten alive by the demons of the underground!

No! No!

I shouted. But there was no sound.

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Lost Moments

I needed a three-inch wedge just to sit comfortably

Reading some random lines from a story

Learning, re-reading, laughing in my head

A quick escape, a longing escapade

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Minsan ang kabataan natin ay wala sa mga larawang naitago kundi sa mga alaala ng takbuhan at patintero sa kalsada, piraso ng bangkang papel, mga inabangang palabas sa telebisyon, amoy ng paboritong luto sa bahay, at sandamakmak na kuwentuhan o kulitan ng mga magkakaibigan.


Mga nagbabalik na alaala dala ng patuloy na pagpatak ng ulan sa gabing ito.

Buhay ELBI

Nakaligtaan ko na naman ang nakaplanong araw ng pagdalaw. Kaya ngayon ay babalikan na lang ang mga alaala. Mula sa mga litrato at mga kathang magdadala muli sa akin sa matamis na yakap ng aking mahal na tahanan.

Maraming masasayang karanasan, mga pagsubok na nilampasan, at mga taong naging malaking parte ng pagkilala sa aking sarili. Salamat at ngayon ay gusto ko na talagang bumyahe at mag-isang lakbayin ang daan sa mga nakalipas na panahon.

Elbi, hintayin mo ako sa aking pagbabalik. 😀

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Missing Close Encounters

Blood moves slowly
Building red cloth along
Even with cuts and scars
It continues to flow with ease

Heart pumps more
Filling each vein alive
Trying to save from breaking
Functions merely for living not feeling

It had lived
All these times, alone
Nothing comes close to it
It knows no other beating heart

Each pump hurts
Veins expand too big
Blood longing for something different
Someone, if possible, someone to share

Emotions aren’t much
Other than labels inside
Brain knows too well, but
Heart is blinded, covered from it

Once it felt
New rush passes through
Veins, blood, heart all together
Until it had that close encounter

The hand moved
It sent a message
A lasting sensation that’s missing
For more than a decade now

When will it come back
Will it also remember me?
Or it will be different
Far away, forgotten

Kaba sa Araw-araw

Pira-pirasong parte ng litrato
Ang pilit kong ibinabalik sa aking alaala
Mga mukhang minahal ko nang buo
Ngunit ngayon ay nagdadala ng hindi kilalang mga tingin
Mga mata nilang nagsusumamong alalahanin

Sa bawat sulyap na gawin
Lalong lumalabong pagkakakilanlan
May iilang pintig na sumisipa upang makabalik
Pamilya, kaibigan at iba pang mga mahal sa buhay
Unti-unti at dahan-dahang binubura ng takot

Iisang banyagang pangalan lang ang sinasambit
Kinakain nito ang buong pagkatao
Sinumang magsimula sa paghukay ng alaala
Gumagapang ito at bubusog sa sakit, pintig
May ilang hindi na umabot ng tatlumpung taon

Kumatok at pumuslit ang sakit sa kanilang ulo
Tanging dasal at patuloy na pag-aabang
Kung nanaisin ng tadhana ay baka makaligtaan ako
O kahit ikaw at mawawala sa guhit ng palad
Ang pagkalimot ng mga tao sa mundo natin

Bago pa man iyon dumating
Laging may bitbit na kaba sa dibdib
Araw-araw na kukumustahin
Pinaghahandaan ang darating na paghaharap
Pilitin mang takbuhan, hindi pa rin sigurado ang kalalabasan