Red Rose (2011*)

A: When was the last time you saw me smile?

T: When was the last time you heard me sing?

A:  When was the last time you held my hand?

T: When was the last time you felt I’m alive?

T: I walked in the garden full of roses. It was the most beautiful thing anyone could ever imagine. Red filled the whole place.

A: I saw her walked in my rose garden and she was the most radiant rose I have ever seen.

T: I was wearing my favorite white dress and I felt like an angel standing in the center of heaven.

A: She filled the land with light and everything started to fade away. I was sitting and hiding behind the bushes, waiting for my angel to come. And she did!

T: I hopped along the brick fountain found at the center of the garden. There were two ladies partly covered with cloth, standing in the middle of the fountain, pouring water from their basin.  Then I glanced forward to see my reflection.

A: I started to walk near my angel. Then she started to go near the water! She moved her body and leaned to see over the well. It was my well of hell! She can’t be near the well! She might fall and she might be eaten alive by the demons of the underground!

No! No!

I shouted. But there was no sound.

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Remedy

The world is on top of my table, with all the greasy spots of forgotten memories; a lot of flavorful events and a couple of porcelain plates, which in the end turns out to be a fake. Just like the smiling faces around my place.

Every second ticks like there is no tomorrow. Every minute eats up all the remaining air that I can breathe. Every hour kills the hope that remains in my heart.

Still…

        that is an understatement.

Nobody can tell what I am thinking. In the first place, nobody even cares. I too cannot see their life stories. I too DO NOT CARE.

All I see are the fake smiles of my neighbors, the hidden grudge of my so called friends, the jealousy of my colleagues, the unwanted greeting from strangers, and the wavering care of life.

Sadness, happiness, sorrow, hope, pain, relief, grief, and exaltation. All are contained in the small, wounded, yet strong walls of my heart. Some say that was too much. Some may argue that was not enough. Some questions, still some would not mind. Some may even say none of it was true.

Still, nobody’s comments are important because none of them are part of my life.

    But who are they?

       Who own those smiling faces I see?

    Who spoke those words that hindered my growth, my faith, and my desires?

They are not only a few but they are…

       YOU.

               Yes, you.

        YOU are one of them.

Endless

They say I’m a good-for-nothing person. Though there are times I really think they are right.

But most of the days they’re wrong.

Oh my, how long have we known each other?

Fifteen, twenty years perhaps.

I know every little bit about you.

The way you look into my eyes. The way we talk for ages and still laugh at each other’s jokes.

I even remember the time we made our first ride on a Ferris wheel.

That was an amazing night, wasn’t it?

Everyone was falling in line to get their asses on the coolest ride at the carnival. I do remember how tricky you were.

Oh, those were the days.

Well, that was the only day.

You scared away those girls and told them that the ride was very dangerous. That when they sit and go up to the highest point, they’ll fall.

They’ll scream a loud noise which may or may not get the attention of everyone. The last scream they’ll ever make. The last sound of their voices.

But they don’t know anything!

They easily believed what you said.

Seriously? Screaming!

That’s the only thing you said and they were gone from the long line.

You were really that good ey?

But let’s say I was better.

My dear old friend, we’ve been meeting this way far too long but I’m still fascinated.

You were my first, you know.

My very first.

Many have told me that it’s difficult to forget your first.

Oh boy, they were right!

I could still smell the rush of the blood through my veins.

I could still feel the scent of screams in the air.

I still hear the attention you were receiving that night.

They remembered you up to this day but they never looked at me.


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