On Writing (2): Lost interest, missed opportunity

A dozen of scenarios plays back and forth in my mind. I get sleepless nights, tossing and turning with all these grand images knocking, crawling, and sometimes, frolicking their way to my consciousness. With this kind of dilemma, I set up a small space beside my bed with pieces of paper and sets of pens. This is my refuge as I try to organize the thoughts into actual writing. However, it never works out well.

I end up stunned. Staring blankly at the ceiling right after I opened my eyes from sleep. Whenever I try to remember, the ideas aren’t simply there at all. I’m left with a certain kind of emotion drawn from the event/scenario/whatevs, but the actual scene or thought isn’t present anymore. This is a real struggle especially when I want to write so badly. How I wish I could easily record my dreams and random train of thoughts like in a quick writing exercise where I jot down anything that pops into my mind. This way, I can go back and read through them then slowly figure out how a story can possibly develop from the seemingly balderdash record.

Aside from these challenges, I also end up losing interest in particular topics that I think I miss a lot of good opportunities. This year, I wish to overcome this lazy attitude and complete more written works.

Lost Moments

I needed a three-inch wedge just to sit comfortably

Reading some random lines from a story

Learning, re-reading, laughing in my head

A quick escape, a longing escapade

My kind of weekend

Maybe it’s because of the coffee or not. Probably the weather or the noisy street. Just my random self being happy, excited, hungry, sad, and tired all in the perfect rhythm of a 10-second to a minute flow.

Survived the surprising traffic jam. Got home. Hungry. Tired.

Done with dinner then I saw this

Happy

Checked Facebook

Children
Ashes
Blood

Syria

Misunderstanding
Rants
Know-it-all

Lack of empathy

Sad
Heartbroken

Read a couple of paragraphs from a book.

Relieved but bothered

Hungry

Went to update on a TV series.
Sheldon. Amy. 🙀

Need to find some inspiration. But… Ohhh, there’s the fan. My pile of notebooks. My messy “bookcase.” Phone. Light. Endless random rants… Flying, running, swimming, biking, thoughts dying, fading, scattered everywhere.

tummy

Hello, Friday. Please let Saturday be good to me.