Endless

They say I’m a good-for-nothing person. Though there are times I really think they are right.

But most of the days they’re wrong.

—

Oh my, how long have we known each other?

Fifteen, twenty years perhaps.

I know every little bit about you.

The way you look into my eyes. The way we talk for ages and still laugh at each other’s jokes.

I even remember the time we made our first ride on a Ferris wheel.

That was an amazing night, wasn’t it?

—

Everyone was falling in line to get their asses on the coolest ride at the carnival. I do remember how tricky you were.

Oh, those were the days.

Well, that was the only day.

—

You scared away those girls and told them that the ride was very dangerous. That when they sit and go up to the highest point, they’ll fall.

They’ll scream a loud noise which may or may not get the attention of everyone. The last scream they’ll ever make. The last sound of their voices.

But they don’t know anything!

They easily believed what you said.

—

Seriously? Screaming!

That’s the only thing you said and they were gone from the long line.

You were really that good ey?

But let’s say I was better.

—

My dear old friend, we’ve been meeting this way far too long but I’m still fascinated.

You were my first, you know.

My very first.

Many have told me that it’s difficult to forget your first.

Oh boy, they were right!

I could still smell the rush of the blood through my veins.

I could still feel the scent of screams in the air.

I still hear the attention you were receiving that night.

They remembered you up to this day but they never looked at me.

—

I told them it was an accident.

They believed me.

Those girls you scared, they ran off from you as far as they could but not me.

Screaming your last scream!

That was ingenious of you but what I witnessed was way more captivating. It is still the best picture in my mind.

—

When we reached the highest point in that Ferris wheel, we both saw the ends of the world. It was flat but wide.

Lights struck us directly as the rays coming from the sun.

It was the most beautiful thing. It was all that we’ve ever thought it would be, though you got something wrong in your scary story.

—

When one falls, he can’t even start to scream. He will have no time for screaming, you see.

You were wrong.

Still, it was helpful because it got me curious.

—

I could still remember the way you tried to reach back, to extend your arms and open your palms. Reaching for something. Anything.

Then, when the time you thought of screaming, it was too late.

Even from the top of the Ferries wheel, the fall was short. Too short for a scream.

—

No one heard your voice.

I saw a life.

I saw the life you’ve lived through your dark round eyes. It was magnificent!

And the fall? It was really just for the drama. The best part was seeing your face and your last glance to the world.

—

You were so still when I went to see you.

Lying on the ground. Red splatters of blood moving away from your head, slowly covering your body. It covered the ground like a scarlet blanket.

You never looked so peaceful.

—

Now, I can’t help myself not to share that to you every time I visit.

They never gave me proper credit for what I did. That night answered my curiosity. Still, it was enough.

—

Here’s a flower for you. I know, I know.

I brought you roses last year but today I only have these lilies. Hope you like it, still.

I’m leaving now.

It’s quite difficult to walk around the streets these days because everyone’s eyes are looking for me.

They never gave credit for you but for the 19 boys I’ve met for the past 19 years, they sort of figured it out.

—

Nevermind that.

Oh and by the way, people were right about the first.

I sure can’t forget about you.

I think I’ll never will.

You will forever remain to be my…

FIRST KILL.