Yakapin

How do you know when people are already drifting apart? Are there certain signs that you look for to be sure? Or does it come without the people knowing until they are already too far from each other, and there is no means to get back to how things used to be?

In my case, I think I ignore the signs even though I am well aware of what exactly is happening. Why? It is much easier to accept the fact than to continue living within the restraints of false engagements. However, my heart still stings from the scars left by the goodbyes. But then, I learned to live with them as I understood how people come and go in our lives.

Meeting for a Purpose

There are only a few who would stick with us for decades, but the majority would be in our lives because they have a role to play. This idea is how I make sense of the engagements I have in this life.

I see life with winding roads. Those roads lead us to where we need to be in this lifetime, and on some of those roads, there is that moment when we cross paths with another person on their journey. We can walk alongside each other. However, I think those roads are always under construction as we proceed to live our lives. There are choices we make on how we will pave the way and whether or not we are willing to stay connected with the road that another person is building. It is not easy to make decisions about such actions. There are moments when we get stuck in that crossroad because we don’t wish to continue planning for the construction or because we got so used to how comfortable this part of the road is that we try to tell ourselves that it is now the end; no need to move and add more to the construction. But the reality is that once a certain chapter in our lives is done, the people we encounter also need to move forward toward their path. This is how we grow.

Kaso minsan mahirap kung tayo iyong iniiwasan, na tayo ang nilalayuan. Mahirap at masakit kung sa ilang pagkakataon ay pilit nating hinahawakan ang isang tao sa buhay natin pero iyon pala sila ay pabitaw or bumitaw na. Minsan napapatanong din ako kung bakit nga ba hindi ko napanghawakan ang ilan sa mga relasyong dumaan sa buhay ko? Napakarami kong mga taong nakilala at naging kaibigan pero parang ang hirap talagang panatilihing palaging konektado ang mga kaganapan namin sa buhay. Ang hirap bumitaw kasi sa loob-loob ko ay napupuno ng paghihinayang. Iyon bang paghihinayang sa oras na pinagsamahan, sa mga kuwentuhang mas nagpalalim sa aming mga pagkakakilanlan, sa tiwala at minsan pa nga’y pangakong patuloy na magsasama sa paglalakbay sa mundong ito. Kaso sa huli talagang iilan lang pala ang magiging konkretong daan na palagiang magiging parte ng buhay ko/natin.

Do I regret letting people go then?

Sa totoo lang, not all the time. Yes, there is always that bit of idea that is leaning towards regret but as I got older I realized that the circumstances in my life and the choices I have made are all connected to how life is still a continuous process. I cannot simply stand still and let everything remain the same. If that ever happens, then perhaps that truly is the end. Not just of friendships and other forms of relationships, but life itself. Seasons change, people come and go, so as to keep us strong and to help us grow. If I dwell too long to the pain of disconnection, I may not be able to move forward. Wouldn’t that be such a dreadful future?

So now, I tell myself that life continues and so is my chance of meeting more people – diverse individuals – who would be a part of my life should they choose to be, or be a worthwhile companion while it lasts. As I carry this thought to heart, it also helps me be more open to the people around me as I know I also have that possible chance to be their worthwhile companion or a lifelong friend in this road we call life.