I suddenly realized that reading has become a tedious work these days. It now serves as an action that I need to complete for the sake of meeting an academic requirement. As I follow this new habit, I gradually lost the interest in meeting new characters as I have become busy in understanding (at least trying to understand) the ideas of various local and international literary critics. Then aside from discovering this extensive form of “reading,” I also realized that I lack an important knowledge about Philippine literature.
There are numerous opportunities for me to start bringing life to the unimaginable stories out of my head. But most of the time I slack off instead. After this, I only get frustrated at the end of the day because of wasted hours.
Writing has always been one of my toughest frustrations (next to singing). I’m aware of how random I could be throughout the day, so I’ve got to make use of my productive “break.” However, actual writing tends to come rarely these days. 😥 This is due to my lack of a fixed writing habit. I try to be consistent with my schedule, but distractions meet me which I embrace so openly.
Filipino or English, what should I use to better share my ideas?
With a background in communication studies specifically in language and culture, I learned that there isn’t a “better” language. Moreover, the thought of providing a distinct hierarchy of languages that makes one the best is affected by various factors which can be seen within the society and outside the society. There isn’t that one particular criterion that lets you identify one language that is better than another. The use of a particular mode of communication is also a result of people’s interactions and are associated with various factors such as the community’s history, values, and traditions. I won’t expound on the minute details for each one as you may search for it in various scholarly articles (communication theories, language acquisition, multilingual concepts).
In my own writing, however, I still am bothered by this concept. Even with the idea of using various languages as an individual element in communication, I get troubled whenever I try to choose over the two languages that I know. Like right now, I am using English. Ha! Continue reading On Writing (3): Language – Filipino or English?
A dozen of scenarios plays back and forth in my mind. I get sleepless nights, tossing and turning with all these grand images knocking, crawling, and sometimes, frolicking their way to my consciousness. With this kind of dilemma, I set up a small space beside my bed with pieces of paper and sets of pens. This is my refuge as I try to organize the thoughts into actual writing. However, it never works out well.
I end up stunned. Staring blankly at the ceiling right after I opened my eyes from sleep. Whenever I try to remember, the ideas aren’t simply there at all. I’m left with a certain kind of emotion drawn from the event/scenario/whatevs, but the actual scene or thought isn’t present anymore. This is a real struggle especially when I want to write so badly. How I wish I could easily record my dreams and random train of thoughts like in a quick writing exercise where I jot down anything that pops into my mind. This way, I can go back and read through them then slowly figure out how a story can possibly develop from the seemingly balderdash record.
Aside from these challenges, I also end up losing interest in particular topics that I think I miss a lot of good opportunities. This year, I wish to overcome this lazy attitude and complete more written works.
A simple sight of blood upsets me. Even a small cut sometimes scares me. I seem to have a low tolerance for the striking uneasiness of pain or more so with gore. This reaction, however, seems strange to people who know me personally, because I write some dark stories with vivid descriptions. Continue reading On Writing: (1) Dark thoughts, great stories