On Writing (4): Am I losing my drive for writing or it’s mere procrastination?

There are numerous opportunities for me to start bringing life to the unimaginable stories out of my head. But most of the time I slack off instead. After this, I only get frustrated at the end of the day because of wasted hours.

Writing has always been one of my toughest frustrations (next to singing). I’m aware of how random I could be throughout the day, so I’ve got to make use of my productive “break.” However, actual writing tends to come rarely these days. 😥 This is due to my lack of a fixed writing habit. I try to be consistent with my schedule, but distractions meet me which I embrace so openly.

Bothersome distractions

Online sites are the worst!

I can skip to multiple tabs in a single screen. Spend a lot of my precious minutes reading through random texts, staring at unfamiliar faces or browsing through same-old videos. This habit, built through the months of less writing, made me lose focus. Now, I’m like a child having an extremely short attention span. Then, I’ll only go back to my senses once the day’s almost over with a blank word page still waiting for me.

But, I used to write daily for work. It’s just that it was different. I typed all the necessary words for an appealing article. Reached the required word count and that was it. For eight hours a day, five days a week. This was a good practice to keep me writing, however, my vocabulary was limited and I couldn’t seem to move forward. There were a lot of things, names, and moments that went through my mind. There was just no concrete place for me to put them in for better understanding.

Writing is hard work and not just pure inspiration

I am one of the thousands of people who wish to share my ideas through written works which I hope can help others as well. In the years that I tried keeping up with different forms of writing, I learned in the end that my imagination can be limitless but my inspiration can be an unreliable ally when it comes to finishing a poem, a short story or more so a manuscript.

There is a need for me to push myself into completing an actual piece. I have to practice, write, read, and do all the hard work as I build a stronger foundation for my skills. There is no simple road for this success (though others may argue that there are other ways to reach a large audience *cue in* pop)

Ultimatum for Thy Self

Even if I rant all day, force myself into thinking that I can finish a work on time or hit my head hard on the table, the proper words and style of writing aren’t gently or so sweetly going to come to me. This is where I have to move and push myself more. There have been a lot of opportunities for me to grow and improve. I was just lazy and scared to give them a try. Now, I need to let go of those troubling concerns and let myself work on the right steps toward reaching my writing goals. I have to read, learn more, write, and read some more. After all, I still want to share my ideas with people who are willing to read through my stories, poems, and others. Only I together with the help of friends and some mentors can make myself better.

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