Random Reflection of a Busy Panda Bear

Love and Everything in Between– A possibly eye-catching title for a blog post. More clicks, more chances of having new readers, but those don’t matter. This is a random bit of my thoughts to kill the time while waiting for my next class. So, if anyone is interested in reading through this, better have a lot of patience to bring along.

For a couple of weeks, I have been bombarded with too many love posts, heartbreak stories, hugot lines, sudden phone calls from a friend crying over a guy, and many other love-related incidents. This year sure has a lot of the thump-thump of a beating lovebird heart spectacle more than over the last two decades of my life. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been too familiar with the topic when I was younger or that my social circle has simply been exposed to too many sweets, sugary words, and an illusion of romantic circus of a media-centered community.


What is love?

There are seven billion people around the world, including you and me. Put the numbers aside, find a common multiple and bring those together. You’ll get over 3.5 billion pairs regardless of age, gender, race, and many other social standards or classifications.

Many of those pairs live and die without knowing each other. That means whoever you got paired with (in that imaginary computation I did) may never see you or even hear a word about your existence. So, how does this define love? It doesn’t, sort of. I simply want to waste some words and spaces to let me move to the next topic. Please bear with me.

That question has been asked numerous times over the span of roughly 3 billion years. Philosophers, leaders, teachers, and many other ordinary individuals searched for the correct answer or perhaps the closest answer to describe the feeling, the experience, the moment when one is in love. In this process, many have shared their ideas. The search has given us hundreds of heartfelt poems, classic novels, well-admired characters, and a long history of obsession. An obsession with the process of discovering the ultimate formula to label love. There are even some scientific explanations nowadays to show the exact chemical condition/reaction that happens when someone is thought to be “in love.”

Aren’t those fascinating?

They all are interesting, inspiring, and sometimes intoxicating. Young and old alike continue to crawl into the depths of love itself. When digging through a series of personal experiences deemed insufficient, literature, media, and other people’s shared stories serve as a quick escape to keep everyone sane.

In Between

When someone tries to start picking up the words and incidents related to the search for the answer, the path turns to a maze. Too many possible routes to take, too many chances to get at a dead end- a heartbreak. Once a crack is made and a continuous journey in finding the right/perfect/ideal answer is devastating.

When one is in love, can’t it simply be just that?

I’m in love.

Quantifying it, identifying it, concretizing the actual emotion/process seem to be foolish acts of desperation. Many may argue with this thought because logic runs the world. Human needs to KNOW. We need to rationalize things, events, and even feelings to fully grasp the moment as valid or important.

Why not let it be? For a second or a long while.

How I wish I could spend a time, feeling and actually experiencing a moment of unexplainable being. Letting myself into the world of another person. Working my way to the matters that make my heart flutter. But how do I get to that stage when I am in love? Does anyone really know?

These are only surprisingly complex experiences that I’m currently figuring out. It may still take a long time before I can actually step out of this moment of being in between. Hopefully, when I get to the moment of being in love, I stay in love. For the meantime, I think I need to try and understand. I simply have to continue offering a shoulder to cry on, ears to listen, and some random acts I do for a happy moment. Though, when the time comes, I hope that I get to see love as it is. Sometimes, I also feel scared that being in between distracts me a lot that I might not notice love slowly moving closer. Maybe there should be a note hanging around my shoulder: Love, don’t be afraid. Have a voice, please. Let me know you’re here.

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