GOING BACK TO MY PASSION PART 2

Books and music are some of my lifesavers (and my cats)

There are a lot of wonderful things in life that I tend to neglect when I get too busy or too focused on work (or my worries). It seems difficult for me to simply sit and be grateful for all the different events that happen in my life. I would like to make sure that in this new journey that I will be taking in life, I learn to be grateful for all the blessings – big or small – that are given to me.

With a lot of sadness or even scary news about the concerns of the world, it is not easy to look for the little things that make our day better. It is something that I also struggle with, day in and out. I would like to find that piece of hope in my heart that believes in the better days ahead for all of us. There may still be some moments when I would stumble and forget about this new practice I wish to do; nonetheless, I would like to try.

Struggle in getting back

January 2020 – the start of the new year was already a roller coaster of various local and international news. From the fearful thoughts of Iran and America’s conflict to the bush fires in Australia, then the eruption of the Taal volcano which was later topped by the novel coronavirus (Covid-19) pandemic from Wuhan, China. With all those, the start of the year seemed like a long, exhausting one already. As I tried to work through my tasks as a senior high school teacher, I wasn’t able to go back to writing anymore. I chose to keep an old-school written journal instead. Anyhow, now, I would continue with my story regarding this passion of mine.

Disasters lurking just everywhere

Distractions are difficult to control these days, especially after losing the sense of habit with my writing. With the quarantine period lasting for more than two months, it seems that it is a lot easier to procrastinate by doing other smaller tasks at hand and not facing the important chunk of the writing process.

Need to have a cleaner workstation

There has been an attempt (and a continuing struggle) to stay away from any social media applications. However, even after removing them from my device, I still try to check them regularly for updates. I don’t usually reply or am even considering as an active user of those social media applications yet I end up being stuck with them. It has somehow been an addiction that has been embodied within my core habits that it is an exhausting feat whenever I try to have a social media detox. After all, we have this great desire to connect with people and be updated. Even though I am not this sociable in person, my small circle of friends sure has a great part in my life. I want to be there for them wherever and whenever possible.

I am struggling in keeping focused on tasks. I have this drive to always multi-task so I end up accomplishing nothing at all. The tasks I try to start working on will mostly end up halfway done or not even at a 20% progress. This is driving me anxious and out of control.

Writing a post isn’t a simple task on my end. I always tend to procrastinate when it comes to my writing. I think that this is brought about by the fear of sharing my insights on this certain topic. Also, I usually use the workload as an excuse to skip writing. However, last month was a different story.

Confusion to Clarity

In terms of my career, it took me about three to four years before I fully understood the profession that I would take. I wasn’t good at communicating my ideas verbally growing up. I was an introverted child who preferred watching movies at home, reading books in the afternoon (when there were no group activities for school), and writing random stories or whatnots.

Writing has been a constant companion before I got engulfed by work. It seems like I don’t have enough energy to accomplish any well-written work so I simply stuck with the requirements I need to submit. Then it struck me that I shouldn’t lose my connection with my habit of writing. Whether it be a short blurb about my thoughts for the overwhelming moment or a well-researched piece, all those are a part of me. Nonetheless, I should not be worried about sounding wrong as it may affect my profession negatively. It is a learning experience that I would like to share with others.

At the core of my heart, I heard my prayers answered. I wanted to know what my path is in life. I was then led to teaching and I would like to continue this journey alongside my reflections through my writing.

There may still be a lot of wrestling that may occur as I find a better footing in the balance of passion for teaching and that of my writing. It’s always going to be an interesting start to any new journey. So, let me be grateful for any opportunities that may come my way amidst these worrying times of a global pandemic. It is a part of my contribution, perhaps, to a desire of connecting with others through my words. I hope I will be able to showcase such as well in my classes. Also, that is another concern that I need to braze for as I will be going back to an online teaching endeavor. I might need to brush up on my previous ESL experiences to help me out in this next step.

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