Wala ka na bang ibang trabaho? (Don’t you have another job?)
That was a striking question that I received from my doctor last March 2019 when I went to have my check up because I had been having difficulties speaking. I thought then that it may just be a swollen throat as I had been speaking for hours on end due to my job. I really thought that I would only need a couple of days of medication and then I’d be fine. I wasn’t ready for that question of my doctor. It made me rethink of the various tasks I had at work. I love teaching, however, I had to ask myself if I should continue or not. This moment was definitely a heavy one for me as the first months of the year had me emotionally and mentally drained.
Roller-coaster of choices
Growing up, I had always thought of my mother’s work as interesting and fun. It was a job that seemed to have a lot of interesting activities as well as stories to tell every day. I truly enjoyed watching my mother prepare for her classes, not knowing how difficult that was. So, with that kind of background, I wanted to be a teacher as well.
However, as the years passed by, I met an aunt who graduated with a degree in accountancy. She lived with us for a couple of years, which had me thinking that I wanted to be like her. Then so during the latter years of my elementary, my dream profession changed.
A few more years and I entered high school where I had to be in the special science section. I had to learn various advance classes from mathematics, statistics, research, and the sciences. With that condition, I had to wake up at around 3:00 am, work on some last minute class homework, and prepare for my commute. I had to make sure that I arrive at school before 7:00 am and go home by 5:30 pm.
Yes, that schedule was my day-to-day routine, not including the travel time going to and coming from school plus the after hours group activities as well as weekend practices for other extracurricular ones. Where did I get my energy then? I think it was a wonderful decade of my childhood. 😀
That kind of high school experience made me want to take a different path away from the mathematics, research, and the sciences. Don’t get me wrong, I did enjoy studying various aspects of the sciences as well as mathematics. However, it seemed that as I got too much of them, I wanted to explore the field of the arts and humanities.
Throughout the four years of high school, I got to open up slowly and learned to build my confidence in writing as well as public speaking. This was heightened during my junior year when my English teacher introduced us to the various plays such as Cyrano de Bergerac, The New Yorker in Tondo, and others.
I enjoyed every bit of the practices as well as reading interesting stories. However, most of my attempts at writing my own stories and participating in various public speaking contests were mediocre. After all, I am an introvert who didn’t have the full guts to speak in front of a crowd. So with that in mind and experiences to work with, I chose courses that are in line with communication. I was thinking then that college will help me develop skills that I am lacking of (was I not prepared for what’s to come 😄 ). Still, it was a beginning that led me to take college entrance tests in the hopes of improving the skills that I wanted to gain. In the end, I was the only one in our section who took up a Bachelor of Arts degree. This is no surprise as the special science classes were really meant to produce graduates who will help in the field of research.
With all of those experiences, I observed that I didn’t really have that certain dream that I wanted to achieve in terms of my career. I started dreaming of being a teacher just like my mother, then an accountant like my aunt, until I ended up wanting to take up a course in communication. Honestly, with the last one, I didn’t even have the idea of what field or industry I will be entering once I finish the course. It seemed that I get easily affected/influenced by the people around me as well as the situation that I am in. Nonetheless, I think that that is entirely a part of who I am now.
How did all these help me in learning about my real passion?
I will share the reasons with you next week. 😉
Yakapin 