Stepping out of my comfort zone has always been challenging. The safety of being in my bubble at times helped me survive. As I got older, I put less thought into the various events and happenings beyond my circle. I have kept myself in a bubble to save my sanity. The past three to four years have been tough for everyone. Numerous unprecedented events, concerns, and realizations happened. But, as I live within this bubble, does this mean I don’t think about social problems? Does this mean I don’t care about the states of the people around me? Not entirely. However, I learned to choose how the news around me and the events happening around the world affect me. This process is even the same with the updates I get from various people I know. Many may think that this action of mine is selfish. It may be so, but I do this for myself and those I genuinely care for. 

I learned that I can only address the concerns within my reach by remembering the possibility of touching more lives, helping more people, and making some form of difference in their ways of living. Such an idea doesn’t center on me being a good person (like the thought I had when I was younger). It is now more on truly finding time to listen to the people around me, making even the most minor gesture without minding whether I could get something in return, and also understanding that I couldn’t make a massive difference in just one significant action all at once. Yes, that may be possible for others, but I have accepted that I am not a unique and influential person. I am that small servant of the Lord who is still trying her best to do good wills while letting God do all the rest. But what more can I do? 

Deciding to Connect More

As I welcomed a new decade in my life this year, I’ve consciously decided to push myself out of my comfort zone and welcome novel experiences and connections. I’m more open to sharing my authentic self with new acquaintances and being present in the lives of those who mean the most to me. 

It’s not always easy, but I’ve understood that my circle of friends may grow or change, and it has. While some people I meet may come and go, I continue to treasure our shared memories and moments. Still, it takes work as I realize my circle of friends back home has become smaller. I may have kept the ones who truly have a significant part in my heart, but sometimes I still linger on the idea of ‘what ifs’: what if I kept in touch, what if I tried to be present more, what if… Did I feel bad that I couldn’t keep the others who also made an impact in the way I am now? No. I accepted that we meet people at certain moments, and most would not stay to see us face the next chapter in our story. But boy, it took me a while to completely accept my present state. 

After all, it is never easy to make changes in your life. A lot has passed, yet each moment sticks in your mind and heart. I have dealt with several instances when nostalgia hits, and I couldn’t fully function, yet I know that I need to move. However, even as I stepped out of my comfort zone, I still tried (and is trying) to keep my inner self within the bubble of familiarity. In this sense, I miss fully connecting with the new people who enter my life. It is sad, but it is a learning experience.  

So, is it wrong to live in my bubble?

There is no one way to put this. Everyone has a different take on this. After all, we process various situations using our system. I will still be moving with this bubble for some time. Yet, I will keep an open mind and heart to those willing to spend time with me patiently as we both navigate the means to gradually (or instantaneously) pop this bubble of mine and share a more genuine connection. But until that time, I will be stepping out of my comfort zone, trying to expand the bubble I have made for my safety, and, perhaps, bumping into people willing to help me get out.